I saw a screencap of a letter from “current Frank Ocean” to his teenage self. It was raw, authentic, and heartwarming. It garnered hundreds of thousands of shares. It’s a glimpse of redemption, and to be honest, underdog-to-champion stories tickle everyone’s fancy.
What made the post struck a chord in me is the truth that we never will truly know the beauty of what lies ahead, should we have chosen to give up. More often than not, the uncertainty and mystery of our future can be a source of fear and insecurity. However, there are always two sides to the coin. “I don’t knows” can be a great motivator. It pushes you to try, to strive, to expand yourself, even if you can only do and know so much about what tomorrow brings.
With this, I decided I’d write a letter to my 21-year old self. Here it goes.
Guess what. You’re an author. Yup, at 25. You’re probably wondering how the hell this happened, especially when you’re only seeing your current state now—jobless, hooking up, deep in debt, moving from place to place because you left home. I know your internal battles seem so loud and heavy, that you can’t help but drown and succumb to them. But guess what woman, you conquered them.
I know the alcohol and boys seem to soothe the deep-seated heartaches you’re trying to mend, but you’re going to snap out of that addiction. You may have believed the lies about your identity and worth, running towards pleasure as a way to self-medicate, but your Truth will be your compass soon enough.
That guy you’re fucking now, he ain’t shit. He’s still actually going to be the same ol’ fuckboy with no communication skills years from now. The haze will vanish, and you’re going to realize that you deserve better. You will create an online campaign to remind yourself and other women of their worth. In fairness, witty mga posts mo. I think you’ll find the humor in them.
Also, your relationship with your mom is so much better now. You actually are kinda’ best friends. You still have your dissimilarities, but you’re able to find a common ground and respect each other’s opinions.
The shitty self-talk will soon dissipate. Your bitterness towards the industry you’re in will be melting away, because you’re going to realize that every place that rejected you was not meant for you. The campaign you cried about because they gave it to someone else? You have bigger and better projects now. You getting anxious about your blog statistics? You’re getting an average of 3M hits now; and that’s PER month.
Girl, you are going to get a serious upgrade in LIFE. The people you call your friends simply because you get wasted every week will disappear. The shallow, who-got-wasted-the-most topic for conversations will be too boring for you at one point. The friends you have now are your tribe. They are people of influence, people who give back to the world, people who bring out the best in you, people who rebuke you in love so you’re able to be the woman God designed you to be.
You’re still single, and you’re actually sitting well with it. YOU’RE SO FINE WITH IT. You are no longer hungry for the validation of irrelevant people, because finally, (FINALLY, FINALLY) you realize that your status as a woman doesn’t determine your value or worth.
PS: You hate sugar now, and you’ve kicked PCOS in the ass. Also, your book sold out in 5 bookstores after the 1st week it was launched. Hang in there, wild one. The skies are looking pretty bright for you. For now, enjoy that cigarette and cocktail, you won’t be having any of them soon.